See More Hear More Watch More Hear More Get on iTunes
The Onion TheOnion

Man's Family Reaches Higher Priority

After years of climbing no higher than ninth, sources have confirmed that Alan Stokes’ family rose to a record-high fourth priority. Sources say the Massachusetts man’s family would not crack the top three unless he gets a handle on his drinking. http://goo.gl/Vv5DHX #Funny

UP NEXT

More from